Why Sleepaway Camp is Good for Kids…and Parents!

So can you believe your kids are coming home THIS WEEK?! Where did this summer go?! Thank you so much for entrusting us with them this summer.

We have watched them grow leaps and bounds, thrive in ways you could never imagine, make their own choices and try new things.  We also watched them navigate challenging waters, advocate for themselves, tumble but not fall and SOAR.  The power of Camp Towanda is truly magical!

marnieI’m sure as you reflect on the summer that was, you also feel as parents that you learned some things about yourselves…especially to our first time parents.  How far you have come in the past 7 weeks?  From tear-filled sunglasses on June 22nd to now, as you anxiously await the return of your changed child.  They are older, braver and more independent.  They return home more confident, compassionate and respectful.  What is it about camp that makes that all so possible?  Part of it is because they are in the “No Fly Zone”.

It’s no secret that this generation of parents has been dubbed “The Helicopter Generation”.  With all the information and access we get to our kids’ lives for 10 months of the year, we are able to influence so much in their lives (of course from a place of love).  How liberating (and a little scary) did it feel this summer to lose that control?  Three of my favorite books, “Homesick and Happy“, “Free Range Kids” and “Blessings of a B Minus” helped me manage ‘helicoptering’ my own children…but I have to say….I think sending your kids to sleepaway camp is absolutely the best cure for helicoptering!

runningBack in June, do you remember worrying that your child should not be in a bunk with “Jane” and you were so concerned that you called and emailed camp a dozen times? And now Jane and your daughter are arm in arm in nearly every photo? Or that you wanted your son to have extra time at lacrosse because that’s the only sport he likes…and now he wants to play tennis and take an art class in the fall? Or you were so worried that your daughter was sending home letters that she was so homesick and last you saw, she was on stage singing her heart out and wrote that camp is amazing.  Or you wanted to send up special food because your son only eats bagels at home…and now he is insisting you make chicken patties as his homecoming meal!?

dadThis is the magic of camp…kids discovering new things about themselves.  Making mature observations and choices about friendships without their parents’ influence.  You can only imagine how far they have come!  But I applaud you for how far you have come too! While they were coping with feelings of homesickness, you were coping with feelings of ‘childsickness’.  When you get your Child 2.0 back home with you, will you let them tumble, but not fall? Will you be the safety net but not the harness? Will you let them be okay in their own hands?  In the past 2 months, you have done these things by sending them to camp.  You should be proud of them.  And proud of yourself.

with girlsThank you again for the incredible honor it is to be your child’s Camp Director with my husband Mitch.  We take being Camp Parents and your parenting partners very seriously.  Please keep us posted in the off-season about their successes, accomplishments and achievements no matter how big or small.  We share your joy in their growth and look forward to cheering them on from the sidelines, until June 2014 when we get a front row seat!

Enjoy the week!

Stephanie

Advice for First Time Parents @ Camp Towanda

topenboysWhat an amazing first week at Camp Towanda!  It was action-packed and full of new beginnings and memories for our first-time campers.  You can really feel the energy here at camp by watching our first episode of Friday Nite Flix https://vimeo.com/69361442.  For those of you who don’t know, Friday Nite Flix is a camper AND parent favorite here at Camp Towanda!  At the end of each week, our Media Team presents a very spirited recap of the week that was. Our camp watches this together on the big-screen each Friday.  Our fans at home get their viewing on Saturday (after it uploads to our Vimeo channel ALL NIGHT).  It’s a great way to really feel the energy and excitement we get to experience every day.

We also wanted to share some insight, experience and wisdom from some of our “seasoned” parents to first-time parents with kids at Camp Towanda.  Here are some great letters we received and a video: https://vimeo.com/68894398.

Letter#1:
Dear first year parent,
Our daughter’s first year at camp was in 2006, when she started as a Deb. The first two weeks of camp it never stopped raining. It rained so much there was a picture of Mitch in a kayak on the soccer field! Mitch also had to email the parents asking us to send up “dry” sneakers!   (That will NOT happen this year!!!!!-Mitch)ALL the letters we received the first 2 WEEKS from our daughter said she “misses us so much she cannot stop crying”.  When we heard from the camp after her first week, they said she was “appropriately” homesick.  Throughout that first summer there were always letters saying “camp is fun, but I miss you so much I am crying”.

We believed in the camp, and felt if she could just get past missing us, this camp was the right place for her and she would love it.

As the summers went on, the letters became as short as “too busy to write, camp is GREAT, ttyl” !

Our daughter is now in the Dorm and her 8th summer. To say she “lives 10 months for 2” is an understatment.

Camp Towanda is a very special place. You chose well.

Try really hard to relax and enjoy your summer rather than sitting at the computer waiting for new pictures (as I did her first year), your kids are in great hands!!

Letter#2:

Dear Mitch,
While reading your morning email today (which I look forward to every morning during the summer) I felt the need to respond to you regarding the first 3 letters.

This is my children’s second year at camp and I want to share my experience when it was their first year and even this year.

Every morning I look forward to seeing the pictures posted from the night before. I look through all the pictures, save the ones of my kids to the favorites and go back and analyze their faces.All week long i wait for the first letters to arrive,This summer this is the progression of her letters :

1st letter: I am going to give camp a chance, all my friends are here, regular schedule tomorrow GTG bye.

2nd letter: I miss you so much I wish I was home, but most of the time I don’t.

3rd letter: camp is great,!( then a laundry list of colored loom bands needed & where is her camera).

I can go back to the letters from the previous summer and it is much if the same.

Towanda is an amazing place that my kids look forward to all year, but it takes a few days to get adjusted.

I remember when they got off the plane after camp last year and hugged us so much after saying how much they missed us, the exact words out of their mouths before we walked two feet in the airport is ” can I go back next year,”

Homesickness is part of the adjustment, I,know my kids are having an amazing time and they are in unbelievable hands.

Whether you are a first timer or seasoned parent you don’t sleep well with your kids away, but to paraphrase the constant message my kids wrote last summer, “thank you for sending me here” and ” I am having the time of my life”.

Stay dry and see you on visiting day!

Letter #3:

More than 40 years ago I spent my first summer at Camp Towanda, and to this day I can remember being homesick my first week at camp.  I also clearly remember being watched over with great care by my counselors, by the head counselor, and even by the then directors of the camp, just as I know that new campers are still watched over today.   And I know without hesitation that what was true back then remains true now:  it is crucial to allow time for the new camper to find their own way, to choose their own path of independence, and to come to terms with what may surprise them:  that they can not only go it on their own in an entirely new environment, but that they can (and will!) come to thrive in that environment.

Having two children in camp now, I know that the first few days (and even weeks, and perhaps even the first summer) can be a time of challenging emotions for the new parent.  But the lesson we’ve learned in our family is to have confidence in our children, in our choice to send our children to Towanda for all the reasons we made that choice, and in the recognition that generations of children at Towanda have dealt with and beautifully conquered the pangs of homesickness which are being experienced by many new campers during this first week of camp.

And one other suggestion:  please resist, resist, resist the temptation to gauge what is happening with your child at camp by what you see in the daily photos.  As I’ve come to learn, and also seen first hand during my visits to camp over the last many years, the photos capture at most a split second of time in what is an always fulfilling and activity filled day at camp, and they simply can’t consistently provide the basis for judging what is really going on with your child at camp.  In fact, I have often suggested to Mitch that he experiment with a summer of “old school” at Camp Towanda, where there are no photos broadcast to the parents.  I have always sensed that this would be a relief for the kids – some of whom love to run to the camera and some of whom have zero desire to run to the camera – and a bigger relief to the parents, many of whom plainly spend too much time glued to the computer refreshing their screen as they wait for new photos to be posted.  Yes, I acknowledge that the photos can be fun.  But please consider accepting from someone who has lived, and still lives, with this issue: the photos are not worth the anxiety they can sometimes create.

 lakeboundjuniorsWe hope this helps; please also remember WHY you chose Towanda; WE are parents, too. We empathize with what you are feeling, BUT WE ARE HERE, really taking care of YOUR CHILD. THIS IS an incredible privilege and OPPORTUNITY; when you look back, years from now; you will be proud that you provided this foundation, confidence, nurturing, safe BUILDING experience.

We speak confidently because of the results EVERY YEAR; we look at the BIG picture and we deliver…with love, pride and passion.

And just for some added humor, we thought we’d share this animated perspective on what parents do when they miss their kids and just really wish they were up at camp too! Enjoy (and refresh, refresh, refresh): https://vimeo.com/69413200 .